


Well you look like yourself, but you're somebody else.

by bellarkeownsme



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, The 100 (TV) Season 7 Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:02:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25878610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarkeownsme/pseuds/bellarkeownsme
Summary: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR 7X10, 7X11, AND 7X12 (Promo)-He looked like her Bellamy Blake, but her Bellamy Blake wouldn't just sit here and do nothing.PURE BELLARKE ANGST AND HURT. This doesn't have a happy ending :( sorry.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake & Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin & Madi, Clarke Griffin/Raven Reyes
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	Well you look like yourself, but you're somebody else.

"Bellamy, please!" she begged as she thrashed around, kicking out to reach any discipline if she could as they carried her down the hallway. "Bellamy!" she yelled as they drug her away from the group's holding room. She could hear Octavia screaming at him, begging him to think about what was happening.   
-  
When they arrived in the mcap room, they roughly shoved her down, strapping in her arms first, then her legs, but not after getting a good kick in. Bellamy joined the other disciples with Cadogan moments after they finished hooking her up. This was all an act, right? He wasn't actually going to let them do this to her? Was he?   
-  
"you're in a desert." says the disciple with the mcap glasses. "a hand reaches out for you. Who is it?" a memory of Bellamy pulling her out of the pit she accidentally fell into when they first reached the ground flashes and quickly disappeared. She was fighting it.   
-  
"The more you fight Clarke, the worse the pain will be," she warned, turning up a dial on the mcap, making Clarke wince in pain. It was tolerable, but god, it hurt. "Bellamy, please." she cried again, trying to reach any part of her Bellamy that was left. "they're going to kill me bell." she begged.   
-  
"she's stalling." his voice breaks through the silence, and it was like a knife to Clarke's heart. "look for her child, Madi. She had the flame in her head up until recently." and that, that was what set her off.   
-  
she pulled at the restraints, thrashing around trying to free any body part to reach him. "You trader! You promised me you'd protect her!" she screams at the top of her lungs, so loud she's sure the rest of her friends could hear it from down the hall.  
-  
"thank you mr.blake. That was very insightful." the women smiled, turning up the same dial and asking Clarke the same question as before. Clarke tried her best, but her emotions were getting to her making her vulnerable to the machine. Beads of sweat began to form on Clarke's forehead as she tried her best to fight it off. A memory of a young Madi pops up then vanishes.   
-  
the woman sighed, ripping off her glasses to look Clarke in the eye. "Clarke Griffin, if you do not comply with the machine, I'll have no choice but to use extreme force." "go float yourself because I'm not telling you anything," Clarke mumbled through a clenched jaw, starring at the ceiling. She went through things worse than this, but with Bellamy by her side. Could she really do this without him?   
-  
Clarke's words seemed to set off the woman because she turned the dial to the highest setting marked 'safe zone,' and it hurt. But it wasn't as bad as the radiation burns. She was determined not to let them see any satisfaction, Clarke bit the inside of her cheek to prevent any emotion from settling on her face.   
-  
"you're in a jungle, and there's an insect bugging in your ear. Who is it?" the lady questions. Murphy was Clarke's first thought, but she diverted her mind to Cadogan. Clarke shouted as she took back her memory, causing the image to vanish. The lady chuckled, seeing her leader appear then abruptly disappear. Clarke was trying her best to fight it, but it was unbearable. She didn't notice until now, but she had tears flowing down her cheeks.   
-  
"Sir, permission to go higher than the safe zone?" she asked, looking back towards Cadgon, who nodded. Clarke tried to turn her body towards Bellamy one last time. "Bellamy, please. There has to be some part of you left. Some part of MY Bellamy left." she pleaded, looking over at him. He had a stern yet worried look on his face. He knew what they were doing, but his desire to serve the 'shepherd' was stronger than the love he had for Clarke. "Bellamy Blake, PLEASE!" she shouted, trying to rip her arms free. Her bound wrists and ankles were oozing her black blood, but it didn't stop her from trying.   
-  
She assumed the dial was turned up due to the ringing in her ears grew, along with the pounding in her temple. Clarke winces, her body twitching just to keep her mind off the pain. "who is Madi, Clarke?" then the real pain settled in. A burning sensation tore through her scalp as Clarke half screamed and half cried. She could feel a trickle of stickiness flow down her temple, which could only be blood.   
-  
"I'm not going to warn you again, Clarke. There are four more settings after this one, but we can go back to the first setting if you only comply." the lady butts in, and for a moment, Clarke almost thinks she feels bad for her.   
-  
The lady took Clarke's silence as confirmation as she turned the dial up again. No question needed this time; it was enough to make her scream in pain. She could feel the oozing blood down her temple grow, as she tried to look over to Bellamy again, her vision began to blur over. Her body was going into shock from enduring the pain. Deciding it would be best just to let the darkness consume her, she closed her eyes, drifting off. 

\------------------  
\------------------

When she came to, her body flinched awake. She wasn't in the mcap room nor the holding room. Everything was white and perfect, and for a moment, she thought she was back at mount weather. "hey. You're fine." a voice hushed. It sounded like him, but she was able to look over at him, he was dressed in the same thing as before.   
-  
He was holding her wrists and a damp rag covered in her blood. He was treating her wounds, but why? Clarke clenched her jaw, pulling her arm away from him. "Clarke, please." he frowned, gently grabbing her arm again. This time she yanked her arm back more fiercely, using her other one to try and prop herself up. "don't touch me." she mumbled. "please just lay back and rest, Clarke." he begged, putting his hand on her shoulder to gently push her back down.   
-  
"if i didn't know any better, I'd actually think you were sincere." she snapped, pushing his hand off her shoulder and sitting up despite the pain in her head.   
"you know i didn't want to do that." he corrects, grabbing her wrist again. Clarke chuckled, ignoring the sting from the alcohol on her wound. "oh, did you? I'm sorry. Between watching them torture me and telling them about Madi, i didn't notice." she frowned, taking her wrist back. "don't touch me." she said a bit more sternly than before.   
-  
"you were warned multiple times about the pain. You just had to comply." he frowned, rinsing the rag in a bucket of water and ringing it out. Clarke rolled her eyes, smiling angrily. "do you even hear yourself right now? Do you really think what they did was okay?" the pain she just endured wasn't even close to what she felt next. "you're suffering is worth it. The shepherd thinks you're special." Clarke frowned, feeling a tear spill out onto her cheek. in all honesty, she was surprised she had tears left to cry.   
-  
"I'm sorry i wasn't there," she mumbled, looking at him. "I'm sorry i wasn't there to help you, wherever the hell you were. And I'm sorry i wasn't there to protect you." she cried. Ugh. She was so tired of crying. On top of all of it, she had one of the worst headaches.   
-  
"i didn't need protecting Clarke. I was enlightened, and when you are too, you'll understand," he answered, reaching over and pulling something out of a drawer. Her face must've been wrenched out in pain because he offered her a pain killer. "oh, now you care." she chuckled, rolling her eyes, bringing a hand up to wipe away a tear, but realized the sides of her face was covered in crusted blood still.   
-  
"i always. Cared." he frowned, placing the pain killer down and bringing back the rag to wipe the blood off her face. "and to think, I spent two thousand days, calling to you." she frowned.   
-  
"the shepherd will be excited to hear your story, Clarke. Only the ones who have faced trauma are strong enough to become level 12's." he smiled, dabbing the rag. That was it; she had enough. She used what little strength she had left in her to fight back. "i said, don't fucking touch me, Bellamy!" she yelled, pushing him backward, causing the black water in the bucket to get knocked over. She made her getaway out of bed, standing up, ignoring the uneasy nauseous feeling. She quickly rushed towards the door, grabbing the handle but to no avail. it was locked. "take me to the others!" she demanded, and to her surprise, Bellamy nodded, joining her at the door to unlock it. "of course, but you really should rest, Clarke."   
"I'll rest when I'm off this damn planet, away from you." she snapped, leaning against the wall as support.   
-  
He had that worried look on his face as they walked down the hallway back to the holding room. She used the walls to support her unsteady body, but he was always ready to catch her. When they arrived, the others shared the same 'oh my god. You look terrible' look. Gabriel was the first to grab her from Bellamy, as he quickly exited the room, shutting the door behind it.   
-  
With Gabriel's help, she sat down with the others, finally allowing her emotions to surface. She covered her face up the best she could, laying her head on the table. She knew the others were able to hear everything since the mcap room was just next door. She stayed on the table crying for what felt like hours, and not a single one moved away from comforting her. Once the tears finally stopped, she got her bearings in order, using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe off her cheeks from tears and blood. "i don't think we're getting him back this time." she sighed.


End file.
